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Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to #science – Governmentium symbol Gv

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Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into  contact.
 
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.
 
Governmentium has a normal  half-life of two to six years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons change places.
 
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
 
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol Ad), an element  that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

 

About Darin Sullivan (1978 Articles)
Former President of the Fire Brigade Employees’ Union (2009-2018) and a professional firefighter with more than 30 years experience. I live and work on the NSW South Coast, Australia. I am a strong advocate for firefighters and emergency service workers with an interest in mental health issues and caring for those around me. I am a former Director on the NSW Fire Brigades Death and Disability Super Fund and work with charities including ‘The Movember Foundation’. As a leader and activist I have long been active in the campaign for action on climate change. I am a Station Commander in the fire and rescue service in NSW and have 30 years experience fighting fires, both rural and urban. I am passionate about highlighting the impact climate change is having on fire preparedness and fire behaviour in Australia, and the risks associated with inaction on climate change. I am also a spokesperson for the Australian Climate Media Centre.
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